Tagged: humour

Facebook relationship statuses that keep it real

facebook relationship status

We all know that Facebook is where stalkers meet their victims, ex’s get the latest goss on who you’ve been seen with and where Virtual Drama Queens like to hang out for maximum media exposure.

We also know that the creators of Facebook realised long ago how to capitalise on the above with the invention of the Facebook relationship status. However, I think the titillation factor may Continue reading

22 Things You Definitely Do NOT Want in a Lover

masked man handing a girl a note to ask her out image

 

 

Last week I posted a post on Seer Pathways, titled 22 Things I Want in a Lover. As you may have guessed it was inspired by both confessional singer/song writer Alanis Morissette and the Tarot Major Arcana.

But what about the shadier side of the Majors? What if they show up reversed or poorly aspected in a position of a spread that reveals the traits and characteristics of a possible lover?

Can the cards help us detect warning signs of trait we do not want before it is too late? They sure can!

(Humour warning! Take seriously at your own peril.)

Look out for these 22 warning signs:

The Fool – He may very well be stoopid. Unless you’re of less than average intelligence yourself, you’re probably not a good match. Continue reading

tarot card

Dating the King of Swords

tarot card

Tarot of Dreams – www.ciromarchetti.com

The King of Swords is the King of the Intellect. He’s extremely gifted when it comes to logical, linear thinking, problem solving and Sudoku. You probably won’t stand a chance against him at a game of chess either.

His intellectual capacity can be intimidating to less gifted people and we often find him in a position of authority, such as a doctor, lawyer or university professor.

If his mind is in overdrive (due to an inability to ground mental energy), he can get anxious and when he gets anxious he can turn to quite nasty and devious ways of finding relief.  Check out 8 Types of W*ankers for more on the reversed King of Swords.

Pros: He will dazzle pretty much anyone with his intellect. Continue reading

King of Pentacles - Crystal Visions Tarot

Dating the King of Pentacles

King of Pentacles - Crystal Visions Tarot

The Crystal Visions Tarot used with permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902 USA. Copyright 2011 by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. Further reproduction prohibited.

“Carnal love: a practical man’s love. A love you can see, touch, and taste if you’re kinky. If you can’t hear it, you’re probably better suited to its more abstract form.”
― Benson Bruno

The King of Pentacles is the King of Practicality. He’s a no-nonsense family provider and businessman. He doesn’t waste time on dreams that can’t be turned into (profitable) reality.

He can be intelligent but is usually not too imaginative. He prefers the tried and trusted to novel ideas…. Unless, of course, there is a large sum of money attached to the end of it. He’s intuitive when it comes to making a buck but doesn’t usually extend his gut instincts to serve him in other areas.

Because the material realm is his domain, he can also be quite health conscious. Traditionally a Virgo male, he can even be fastidious to the point of OCD. Being male, he tends to not air his worries but tucks them in the gut where they can wreak havoc with his digestive system. His shady (reversed) aspects can be seen over at 8 Types of W*ankers.

Pros: He’s responsible. Stuff matters to this guy and he takes a lot of pride in his work.

This is one man you won’t have to teach how to floss. It’s more likely that he’s the one who’ll remind you daily about how flossing adds six years to your life.

If you like the idea of a big garden but aren’t too keen on doing the actual gardening, he’s your man!

Being quite conventional, he’s one of the safest bets if you’re looking to start a family. He takes his role as breadwinner very seriously which allows you to focus on raising the children should you so wish.

Continue reading