Many of you will remember being in your teens or early twenties, turning around in a crowded room and meeting a pair of eyes – eyes that sparkled and magnetised you to them. To someone watching from the outside, it may even have appeared as if you were pulled together by two silent and secret but too-strong-to-resist magnets… quite possibly located at the level of the heart.
You would have been young enough to just accept this for what it was – instant attraction. The mind may not have intervened at all to ‘protect’ you because you had not yet tasted the pain that love could bring – instead you simply accepted this as the start of a beautiful love story and put it down to love at first sight. Continue reading
The Alphabet for Lovers is a love & relationship oracle based on the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet. It comes in a boxed set with 72 heart-shaped cards in an organza bag and a 104 page companion book (text only).
According to Orna Ben-Shoshan who is the creatrix of the cards as well as the companion book, this oracle can be used to look at the dynamics within all kinds of relationships, such as between family members and work colleagues, as well as lovers. For each of the cards, Orna has also included a section about what the cards might mean to someone who is single – handy indeed if you are looking for an oracle to help you manifest a love relationship!
This is not a fluffy oracle by any stretch of the imagination. It holds profound wisdom and covers every aspect of relating without shirking the dark corners and shadows: Continue reading
By now, most people are aware that one of the biggest dilemmas in relationships is expecting the other person to change. Typically, in a straight relationship, it is the woman expecting the man to change to please her and prove that he loves her.
And by now, most people have realised that it doesn’t work this way… yet so many people waste so much energy trying to achieve the impossible.
These four attitude adjustments will help you get over the idea that you are somehow responsible for changing your man, version 1.o into the new and improved MAN 2.0:
*** Realise that nobody is perfect. You’re not, so how come you expect him to be?
*** What a grown man hasn’t learned by the time he is 18, he may or may not learn later on but it is not very likely he will take his cue from you. Sorry!
*** Understand that relying on a man as your main source of happiness will not bring you joy. If you cannot make yourself happy, you will end up making both of you miserable. Because to a man, your happiness is proof that he is ‘da man’ (whether or not he is actually responsible for it).
*** The more positivity you put into the relationship, the more you get coming back. Whinging, bitching and nagging are not positive, in case you were wondering. Praise, gratitude and a laid back ‘fuck it’ attitude are.
Here are ten typical scenarios when the person trying too hard to force change would be better off just going ‘Fuck It.’
- He wants to watch sports. Points for going ‘fuck it’ and letting him – bonus points for watching with him and learning the rules of the game.
- He hasn’t changed his Facebook status to ‘in a relationship’ after the third date. If this is really important to you, you should seriously consider deleting your own Facebook account – it’s just not healthy to give a flying fuck about this. Go ‘fuck it’ to all aspects of social networking relationship drama – It’s only part of your life if you let it!
- Men are visual creatures. If you let yourself go, you deprive your man of one of the main reasons for him to want to be with you in the first place. Sound shallow? Maybe. But at least be honest with yourself… Even we women have certain standards when it comes to looks. Comb-over anyone? Didn’t think so! So go ‘fuck it’ and treat yourself to a new lippy and some lingerie – it won’t kill you.
- Don’t think he deserves praise for taking the rubbish out? Want him to do it again? Then you had better go ‘fuck it’ inwardly and praise him. It really isn’t very different to training a puppy. Remember that and smile
- Feel a need to nag when he brings you home the wrong brand of laundry detergent from the grocery store? Again, go ‘fuck it’ inwardly, smile and
thankpraise him for remembering to get you the laundry detergent.
- Saying ‘You never buy me flowers’ in a whiny voice is not incentive for a man to start buying his woman flowers (it is incentive to start looking around for a new girlfriend). Go ‘fuck it’ and buy those flowers for yourself instead… or buy some for him!
- Think you’re his teacher? Think again! This is never going to work. Whatever it is you feel is lacking in his education, please avoid the temptation to correct him or fill him in about what’s what. Unsolicited advice is never welcome and male pride makes it doubly so. If he wants to know, he will ask – 100 times out of 100. Every time you think you know better, just quietly repeat the ‘fuck it’ mantra.
- You haven’t had sex for a couple of weeks and the only thing you really fancy doing after a long hard day at work is vegging out on the sofa in front of the telly. Go ‘fuck it,’ have a nice scented bath and slip into some sexy lingerie. You might even surprise yourself about how great this feels instead of wasting yet another night watching crap TV.
- Go ‘fuck it’ to any and all expectations of your man’s ability to mind-read. Unless you’re married to a telepath, expecting this of your man is a complete waste of time and one of the most damaging expectations you can have. Spell it out.
- Every time the thought ‘If he really loved me, he would (…)’ you can say ‘fuck it’ and shoo the thought away. He’s with you, heck he even occasionally remembers to take the rubbish out – he clearly loves you!
- Feel tempted to go through his email or phone messages? Definitely go ‘fuck it’ and leave his private correspondence alone! Going down this path is a slippery slope. If you seriously feel this is necessary there is only one viable solution: Leave! This relationship will never work because trust is the cornerstone of all relationships.
How you feel about yourself and the way you look affects your relationship with yourself and the one you love. Media capitalises on our insecurities and largely because of this, many of us spend most our lives feeling ugly and insecure and therefore enable to fully enjoy our relationships, love and romance.
How often does a first date centre more around the way you look than the excitement of meeting and getting to know someone potentially quite spectacular or the fun you could have together?
SHOCKING STATISTICS (Canadian study): Continue reading
This mini spread is one you can use any time when you just want a quick overview of the relationship. It shows you the main theme, as well as the individual lessons of each person.
Pulling an additional tarot or oracle card is optional and please feel free to choose any deck you like.