Relationship Advice

In the Head of a Shark

man kissing woman's hand

How do they think, the sociopathic married males who go hunting for prey on dating websites and in nightclubs when away on business? And who on earth would be stupid enough to fall for them?

The slick seduction expert pulls out all the stops. He will wine and dine and be very generous when tipping. He wants to impress and overwhelm you to make you weak at the knees. He will feel different to your average Joe – larger than life, unafraid. He’s the natural born risk taker and adrenaline junkie. For a while, he will make your life glitter and sparkle… Your hopes and expectations will start to soar and the penny drops: he’s married – you’ve been played.

The more intelligent he is, the more of a challenge he will like. Don’t assume he will go for weaker or dumber prey. The stronger, more attractive and more confident you are, the more fun the sport for him – he just has to raise his game and be more inventive… perhaps invest a bit more money too. He doesn’t mind the latter… flashing the cash is part of the fun for him. It makes him feel powerful.

If I were to outline what happens inside the head of a Shark in 5 Easy Steps, it goes a little something like this:

* Locate a female who will look good on your arm and be entertaining
* Meet up with her and learn about her needs and expectations
* Make sure that everything you say matches those needs and expectations
* Make her feel truly appreciated and start hinting at a future together
* Do whatever it takes to lull her into a false sense of security: lie, embellish, show pictures of your children, talk about ferrying the kids about, share loads about your own childhood, use words that create an emotional connection (the word connection works really well), call your wife ‘the ex’ etc etc

The fun obviously works much better and lasts for longer if you don’t live on each other’s doorsteps. He can then be very inventive about why you can’t meet the family or close friends quite yet… He will make sure he is away on business a lot at opportune times too.

If you’ve fallen for one of these characters, don’t feel bad. You didn’t deserve it. You weren’t weak, stupid or vulnerable. It didn’t happen because you didn’t love yourself enough or were lacking in confidence. It happened because the opportunity arose for him and a natural predator will always jump at an opportunity. You just happened to be the prettiest one he could pull that day!

He will swiftly move to the next prey once his cover has been shot. Will he change? No chance. He’s a shark in a man suit, baby!

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4 replies »

  1. This is so depressing! When you’re entertaining a new relationship there comes a point where you have to let you walls down a bit and it’s scary to be vulnerable but how can you get to the new relationship phase unless you take a risk on someone? I’ve been shark fodder (albeit unmarried shark), in fact I was more like the wifey bit at home but other than that it totally fit the above only it took me a hell of a long time to work it out. I wasn’t vulnerable or weak; I’m focused, I know what I want and have a career. I know my own value and never dreamed I would find myself in that scenario. The experience did make me doubt myself and question my strengths afterward but after a fair bit of soul searching I came to the conclusion that actually none of that was my problem; I didnt deserve or invite that sort of treatment. Yeah I could have realised earlier but actually that guy was just a bloody good liar and did a good job of telling me all the things I wanted to hear. I can’t blame myself for being open and loving. I did learn some lessons from it but I definitely would try not to judge the next man for the previous man’s failing. Maybe that’s being obtuse, I don’t know. I think ithe next time round (when I’m ready) I will definitely listen to my intuition more but on the other hand I wouldn’t want to be looking for negatives either. Someone told me that I should let me white light down and see where their energy hits me; if it is in my heart or in my lower belly and if its not the heart, shut him down. But honestly, where’s the fun in that?! There’s nothing wrong with a bit of lower belly tingling as long as you’re both on the same page about it ;)

    *Rant Over*

    • Thanks for sharing, Manda. I’m glad you realised you didn’t deserve or invite such treatment. The element of risk is always going to be there. I think a sense of humour about it is key. That doesn’t mean you’re not hurting… It just means you’ll heal quicker. Support from sisters who have been through the same helps too! :)

      • Supporting sisters is definitely the way forward! I really hate it when women think they have somehow invited hurt into their lives in some way. Some things are sent to try us. And honestly, I think I’m pretty fabulous!!!

  2. yep it hurts The pain helped me to wish for better things in my life and to be sweet to myself. The relationship was an illusion, the feelings I had weren’t, so they were mine and I keep sending them to myself.
    ‘Typical’ my dad said just before the start of that relationship, Tam try to love yourself. I thought it came out of nowhere and then the relationship started. I guess I had to go through it to learn to love myself :)

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, feedback and questions. Please note that, while I'm happy to answer questions about individual cards, I don't interpret spreads. I get several requests every day about interpreting DIY readings based on my spreads. Even if I had the time, I don’t think it would be a wise investment of my time to ‘read on readings’ – A reading is done in synergy between the cards, the question and the reader… in the MOMENT.

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