Heart Healing

Not Really Lost – Using the Tarot to Heal after ‘Losing’ a Soul Mate

soul mates - loss of a soul mate

Victor Hugo speaks of soul mate love more beautifully than any other author I know. When Marius and Cosette have that first meeting and they first kiss, they become one as only soul mates can. Both are innocent, pure and open to love, which enabled the following dynamic to develop:

These two hearts poured themselves out to each other, so that at the end of an hour, it was the young man who had the young girl’s soul and the young girl who had the soul of the young man.

But sometimes one person is open while the other is jaded and then the pain of love becomes almost unbearable. Yet of this too, Victor Hugo speaks beautifully:

You who suffer because you love, love still more. To die of love, is to live by it.

Most likely, you will not die physically after all. But you may want to look at what is left after you have ‘lost’ a soul mate whose heart wasn’t open. In truth, you cannot lose a soul mate more than you can lose your own soul, because you belong to the same soul family and will be reunited in the life-between-lives and one day you will graduate Earth School altogether, spending the glorious NOW together in a state of bliss.

The Tarot can help you gain perspective on what you thought you lost, what you gained and what the overall lesson was. Simply pull one card for each of these three:

Decks used Victorian Romantic Tarot and the Romance Angels Oracle. Card 1 - The Sun: A loss of happiness and perhaps even a perceived loss of a Twin Flame experience. Card 2 - 6 of Cups: A return to innocence. Card 3 - Worth Waiting For: Knowledge that true soul mate love is worth the wait.

Decks used: Victorian Romantic Tarot and the Romance Angels Oracle.                                                                    ***SAMPLE READING ***   Card 1The Sun: A loss of happiness and perhaps even a perceived loss of a Twin Flame experience. Card 26 of Cups: A return to innocence. Card 3Worth Waiting For: Knowledge that true soul mate love is worth the wait.

When the pain of the perceived loss gets unbearable simply keep surrendering on the out-breath. Know that this surrender serves a higher purpose. You are not surrendering to a state of feeling/being crushed for no reason. You surrender so that every last trace of any blocks to love will fall off you like the last sticky bits of the chrysalis before the butterfly spreads her wings.

Use the in-breath to breathe back your own soul essence into your aura. While merging energetically with the beloved is sublime when both people have surrendered to love, it is nothing short of unbearable when love is unrequited.

To die of love is to be truly reborn.

You can read about my own experience of ‘losing’ a member of my soul family that I instantly recognised HERE. There is pain but there is also infinite gratitude. Without a meeting that completely shattered my defences, I would not be able to shine the light of compassion… and what’s more, I wouldn’t know myself fully.

13 replies »

  1. This is a lovely spread and wonderful sentiment with regards to soulmates, thank you. I drew the 7 of Cups (reversed), the 4 of Swords and the 2 of Swords. Not a big fan of the indecisive factor of the last card, heh..

    • Considering that the 4 of Swords (Jupiter in Libra) is what you gained, the 2 of Swords (Moon in Libra) seems like a logical lesson about emotional equilibrium. How do you feel about the reversed 7 of Cups here? (I don’t read with reversals, btw)

      • The 7 of Cups reversed here possibly means that my own self-interest and wishful thinking (in believing that the connection I had with this soulmate would always be waiting for me when/if I returned to them) has resulted in the loss of what we did have.

        The 2 of Swords might mean the indecisiveness I face when I try to decide if it’s not too late to try make amends in this lifetime, or to accept the situation with grace and leave them alone.

        • The 2 of Swords can be the process of making a decision which aligns head and heart too… it doesn’t need to end with indecisiveness. I see you have a slightly different take on what the first card position means than what was originally intended… but that’s absolutely fine! The main thing is that the cards make sense to you and that they resonate with your experience :)

  2. I pulled the following cards: card 1 Judgement, card 10 of swords and card 3 7 of swords. All the cards came up reversed! I feel that I was betrayed and deceived in the relationship, but not too sure about the judgement card.

    • If Judgement represents what you thought you lost, then you believe you lost an opportunity to ‘level up’ and leave past sorrows behind. Judgment is about making life-changing choices and being in alignment with our life purpose. It draws a line under the past and there is no turning back. The future was looking shiny… But yes there was betrayal. All that glitters is not gold and he wasn’t what/who you thought he was. I would say he may have appeared like a soul mate in some ways but the real soul connection wasn’t there.

  3. Wow nice spread…. Thanks Lisa for this :)
    I pulled 5 of wands, ten of wands and 4 of penticles… Lost :is period of uncertainty … Gained :harmony in relationship…. Lesson : stagnation , nothing gained nothing ventured….We breakup but don’t know why I feel like he is my soul mate…. Is this natural feeling after breakup ???? Or my intuition is right lol :) lets see what future holds for me :)

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, feedback and questions. Please note that, while I'm happy to answer questions about individual cards, I don't interpret spreads. I get several requests every day about interpreting DIY readings based on my spreads. Even if I had the time, I don’t think it would be a wise investment of my time to ‘read on readings’ – A reading is done in synergy between the cards, the question and the reader… in the MOMENT.

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