Facebook relationship statuses that keep it real
We all know that Facebook is where stalkers meet their victims, ex’s get the latest goss on who you’ve been seen with and where Virtual Drama Queens like to hang out for maximum media exposure.
We also know that the creators of Facebook realised long ago how to capitalise on the above with the invention of the Facebook relationship status. However, I think the titillation factor may not be high enough for much longer unless Facebook moves with the times. That is why I suggest the following additional relationship statuses:
*in a codependent relationship
*single but not over the ex
*in an on-again-off-again toxic relationship
*between dysfunctional relationships
*hermiting to find Self
*in a pansexual relationhip with Life
*in a virtual relationship with (…)
*in a platonic relationship with (…)
*in a poly-amorous relationship with (…), (…) and (…)
*in a try-before-you-buy relationship with (…)
*in a relationship with my Twin Flame
*in a relationship with his wallet
*waiting for my Twin Flame
*relationship f*cktard (single)
*relationship f*cktard (somehow in a relationship)
*eating cake and having it too a.k.a *married to (…) and sleeping with (…)
*in a relationship with everyone (has ascended into fifth dimensional consciousness)
As for the already existing ones, OK… a bit plain for my taste, but let’s keep them except this one:
*it’s complicated
Of course it’s f*cking complicated *rolls eyes*
This is a bit like having a permanent physiology status that says:
*neural transmitters still firing
Furthermore, I suggest some form of colour coding and/or a sizzle meter.
Hey, have you seen the new Love & Relationship Tarot Spreads INDEX page yet? Check it out! Lots of spreads to choose from for every possible permutation of ‘it’s complicated.’ 
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Thanks Lisa for the hilarious (and apropos) suggestions! I sadly saw myself in the “information stalker” category and decided to deactivate my account a while back. It just got to be too much. I feel much more serene now
Hey good for you – serenity rocks!
Somehow I vacillate between *single but not over the ex and *hermiting to find Self. LOL.
No shame in that
Umm…”In vaguely polyamorous relationship with corporeal boyfriend and noncorporeal Twin Flame on the Other Side?”
Or is that too long??
lol yeah, just use the poly category and put TF in front of TF’s name! most TF’s are noncorporeal any way