A lot of guys would scratch their heads with a da f*ck look on their faces if they knew how often I get asked this and how desperate many women in their 40’s and beyond are to get hitched even after a couple of failed marriages.
“Surely, once you’ve (reluctantly) tried it and failed,” thinks the bloke, “you’d just want to have fun after that for the rest of your life… right??”
But with many women the expectation of ‘ending up with’ someone and settling down is so strong that that the most common version is not even ‘Will I…?’ It’s ‘When will I…?’ As if singledom is a fate too horrid to even contemplate. Let me present a typical middle aged woman’s perspective. (A sort of average of the clients that come to me with this type of question, if you will.)
She has been married once or maybe even twice and have a kid or three in tow. She has just realised that her good looks (that she never appreciated in the first place) are past their best before date. She also knows that men are visual animals.
What was once hard just got 300 times harder and on the dating sites she finds herself in competition with younger childless women, equally eager to find and pin down an attractive single man for marriage. Some lie about their age to improve the odds. Some use ‘edited’ versions of their pictures.
Because inside her, there is a 16 year young maiden, still waiting for that Knight in Shining Armour to rush in and sweep her up in his strong arms so that they can ride off in the sunset together. She still needs the sense of stability/safety a man can provide and she craves the physical closeness.
Her needs are pretty basic really and to be fair, they should count as human rights. The is that almost all available Knights are taken by now and the ones who aren’t gave up the quest in their mid 20’s.
So what does she do? She contacts a psychic who will tell her what she wants to hear… that ‘The One’ is waiting for her just around the corner… That he will sweep her off her feet and they will settle down in one of those rare but completely plausible ‘happily ever after’ scenarios.
Only, sometimes the psychic tells her what she sees instead. And this vision very often does not include a Mr Right but instead a couple of drunken flings with Mr Wrong and Married Guy. Oh dear.
Before you ask a psychic this question, you need to know if you really do want to know the answer.
The reading may not give you the answer you want to hear and it may go against your sense of entitlement to the happily ever after. A genuine psychic won’t be interested in looking much further down the line than the next 6-12 months since so very little is set in stone… even when it comes to marriage or moving in together!
Save the ‘Will I ever get married (again)?’ question for the lady with the crystal ball and the long red finger nails. She’ll tell you what you want to hear too!
What would be far more beneficial would be asking ‘What can I do to improve my chances of finding a suitable partner?’ and ‘What should I be looking for in a potential long term partner?’
The One may not be the one you marry.
The One may or may not come into your life to stay.
The One may have been you all along.
Free will and love change everything, time and time again. Don’t put your life on hold waiting for that ever elusive ‘One.’ You can be reborn every morning and know that you are so much more than a single woman looking for a man to love. You can go to bed every night with peace in your heart because the truth is you are just as loved as you dream you are. Carpe Diem!
PS. If you are fated to be with someone, no force on this planet will be able to keep you apart but you may not be united until you are in your 60’s and you may not be meant to have this knowledge too far in advance because it means you would miss out on valuable lessons.
Categories: Relationship Advice