Relationship Shadow Tarot Exercise
Today we are going to continue Tuesday’s theme, both in terms of working on removing blocks to love and also by working with the cards in a rather minimalist way. Again, I have chosen to work with the Sirian Starseed Tarot for this little exercise.
The Sirian works very well for questions that take an interest in reaching higher planes of awareness, which is certainly useful for when we want to break free of old, useless patterns of relating!
This very simple spread pulls one card for the Shadow and one for the Golden Shadow you project onto your partner. For those of you unfamiliar with the Jungian concept of Shadow, please look click HERE for an introduction before you proceed with the reading.
WARNING! YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF TO DO THIS READING!
SAMPLE READING
Shadow: Ten of Chalices
Golden Shadow: Luna
It’s always interesting when we pull a seemingly positive card in a seemingly negative position. Pulling the Ten of Chalices (trad. 10 of Cups) as my shadow card here made me have to think twice what this would be in my case… When it did dawn on me, I had to giggle. I really don’t think there is anything that annoys me more in a partner than when he takes me for granted – something I have certainly been guilty of myself!
The golden shadow card also made me have to dig deep. Luna (trad. The Moon) is often associated with fear, delusion, addiction etc. What positive qualities found in this card do I project onto my partner…?
And then I looked.
The image says it all here. I project a magnetic force, like the pull Luna has on the tides, onto my partner. He is the powerful 0ne and I just flow with whatever he wishes, like tidal water. Easier… that way I don’t have to own my power!
Please share your cards below, but don’t just pull a couple of cards and expect someone else to do the work for you – that would be completely meaningless!
This reading exercise demands that you bring your full energy and attention into the reading, connecting with your inner knowing and allowing the answers to float to the surface from your subconscious.
You will experience a healing energy release if you work with the cards this way, because the truth is that it takes a lot more energy to repress the truth than it takes to acknowledge it!
Angel Starlight Blessings,
☆ Lisa Frideborg Lloyd ☆
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Hi Lisa!
I did the ‘block’ card on Tuesday, but wasn’t able to share it because I was running around London somewhat. The card I pulled then was the Warrior (Page) of Swords – which is meaningful to me because it was the same blocking card that I received in a Thoth reading that was associated with relationships. My immediate reaction was that this is the Princess of Swords — the activist, the truth-teller, the often brutal truth-teller. Is that me – either shadow or light aspect – or someone else? That is not clear to me.
Today, this is what I received:
Shadow: Lady (Queen) of Swords
Grieving, a loner, yes – but I knew that already, so it isn’t shadow, perhaps. Harsh, cutting, cutting things out, cutting people down, the opposite of earth mother. I am aware of when I did that too; it was a humbling experience. What am I not seeing in terms of other angles with the Queen and my projection of her on to others. Let’s change the person I project on to and see if that changes the dynamic of the projection … Overbearing, authoritative, manipulative, putting men first, denying her children, denying her own right to health, denying nutrition, both in terms of actual food, but also what she chooses to starve out of her life: her brain, her insight; she can see the truth but she hides it from others and even herself because then life would have to change.
Where do I do this? With my family most of all. I don’t want to be the Queen. I fear the Queen. She alienates and is too damn powerful; and as a result she is alone. She is Queen Elizabeth I. A fucking virgin, for goodness sakes! I don’t want to be infertile and barren; non-viable sexually. And this at a time when I am facing down perimenopause.
Can I be at peace with no longer being able to be a mother in the physical sense? I fear becoming like my own mother in that respect: past her child-bearing years. My goodness. That’s it. Eureka! (Perimeno)pause for thought.
Golden Shadow: The Hanged Man
Odin. That’s what came to me. Odin. What does Odin mean?
A E Waite: “He who can understand that the story of his higher nature is imbedded in this symbolism will receive intimations concerning a great awakening that is possible, and will know that after the sacred Mystery of Death there is a glorious Mystery of Resurrection.”
I wait for the resurrection of others while stopping my own.
Hi Sarah, thanks for this! I’m on my way out so will answer at length when I get back… but for the one card you pulled for Tuesday’s exercise, simply ask yourself how you contribute to creating the dynamic embodied by the Princess of Swords. This card was for a block to love within you (projected or not).
Thanks, Lisa. My immediate sense is that I have been too direct in certain situations – not too direct empirically, but rather that the other person has been unwilling or unable to look at the truth. Conversely, I fear looking, too, in case I hear something terrible about me. Such awful childhood stuff. It moulded me so well and so brutally.
Yeah – both make sense.
Sarah, you really got a lot out of this little spread and I’m excited for you about the insights you uncovered from within. I don’t have much to add really. Can relate to much of it, of course, since I’m a woman roughly your age and you are touching on some pretty big archetypal and generational stuff here.
Being from Sweden, I do want to just say this about Odin: He’s pretty much wisdom personified. I had a pretty cool meeting with him when I did a guided visualisation once
I sometimes like to read in terms of patterns, so I did this several times. I found that my side almost always came up happy cups and roses, and his side was mostly conflict-y swords and wands. So I suppose this could mean that I project unrealistic romantic expectations onto my partner, and hope that he can fulfill them, when perhaps that is just not his thing.
And maybe my desire for that type of relationship causes him to shut down in certain areas. But I do appreciate the ways that he shows love and affection, which are many, even if it’s not always quite what I’m envisioning.
Oh, not sure how you mean…? There were no his/hers positions in this layout – just shadow and golden shadow. Or did you mean that you did shadow/golden shadow for both of you several times?
I mean the first one for my shadow, and the second one for the one I project onto my partner. But this is a new concept for me, so I probably don’t really understand it.
No worries. The Golden shadow is your positive stuff that you don’t want to own, just like the normal (negative) Shadow… only this time you’re projecting the really great qualities that you are afraid to own because owning our power can be pretty scary at times
So it would be interesting to hear what you got from pulling just one card for each. This exercise is for digging deep and allowing stuff to surface from the depths but you do need to understand the concept intellectually first for the stuff that rises to make sense.
PS. Read Sarah’s sample reading that she did for herself – perfect example of how much you can get if you engage fully with just one card for each!
Okay, then, Page of Cups and Eight of Swords. That’s pretty typical of what I was getting. Cups and Swords, or Cups and Wands, repeatedly. Something pleasant for the first card, less pleasant for the second.
Sorry, I still don’t quite get the Golden Shadow. Am I pretending my partner has these good qualities I don’t want to own, or wishing he did, or what? I really don’t understand that part.
For the Page of Cups, since it’s in the Shadow position, you need to look at the negative aspects of this card. It will not be anything immediately apparent since it is something you have submerged into your subconscious. Something that is immediate about a Page though is that it’s a child, so perhaps something that you consider childish in your partner because you’re not owning it for yourself…?
For the Golden shadow, you need to look for something positive in this card which is usually considered negative… so you’ll have to dig really deep (which is what happened in my reading too). The Golden shadow is about your own creative potential that you submerge into your subconscious because it is too frightening to own that much power and glory. Then you project this onto your partner (or, if you are single onto your ideal partner).
Hope this helps and if not, you won’t have to look far and wide on the Internet to learn about the Shadow and Golden Shadow in Jungian psychology. I think once it ‘clicks’ you’ll find it an invaluable tool as a reader too
Hmm. Well, I’ll have to think about this. I honestly don’t think there’s any part of my creative potential that I’m submerging or denying or afraid of, with the exception of not having children, but that was a very conscious choice. I certainly have weaknesses on the Shadow side like anyone else, I’m sure, but for the Golden Shadow I just don’t know. I’ll see if anything comes up later. In the meantime I need to go and read for somebody else!
Thanks for your help! Interesting stuff. I did read about it a little and think I generally understand the idea, but I don’t know how to apply it to myself yet. You guys are probably more experienced in thinking about these concepts than I am.
I can see why my choice of wording caused confusion there. Apologies. By creative potential I wasn’t referring specifically to creativity in the Empress sense but the ability to create your own reality in the World card sense, i.e. fully owning your power on all levels of creation. I suppose one way of seeing it is having the courage to fully embody and express your Soul.
Oh I see. Well, I think I do pretty well with the soul part at the moment. It’s really more the physical aspects of life that I have trouble with, as you know, more worldly things like food and external stimulation and so forth. Base chakra stuff.
So I guess that gets in the way of me expressing my soul to some degree, but I’m not sure that’s what you’re talking about, because you said the Golden Shadow was a positive aspect of myself I’m suppressing subconsciously because I’m afraid of it, right? So that doesn’t sound like the same thing, really. I’ve had the physical issues all my life, since way before I should have been able to suppress anything.
okay, this is weird.
For the shadow I drew 2 of pentacles.
For the golden shadow I drew The devil.
Now, as I said a weird duo there.
The thoughts I was having was that I might project an inability to choose on my partner, or seeking out possible love interests that are for some reason not really all that available, which makes it unneccessary for ME to choose and really say YES, I wanna do this. I wanna commit to this.
I am very aware of me trying to “keep my (emotional) options” though; just no clue how to change it.
now for the Golden shadow: The Devil??? How on earth can that be positive?
Interestingly I see there is something very contrasting about the two cards. the 2 of pentacles can make one a bit of a commitmentphobe (not wanting to choose) and the Devil can make one a bit addicted or obsessive.
But still how can the Devil be positive?
This may sound a bit crude now, but whenever I see the Devil card I think of “sex” – the passionate and obsessive kind, that can make you really lose your mind and through the obsessive character can turn more than jsut a tad unhealthy. Making you dependent, needy. A pretty dangerous card.
However, probably some of the perceived “danger” come from a certain shame about sexual issues, socially or individually, which is actually a perversion in itself, denying the primal instinctive very natural quality of sexuality.
Now, I must admit that I tend to control myself to the extend of suppressing more sexual feelings and concentrate rather on my mind. I do feel though that internally I am probably a much more sexual being than I would really express.
And I guess that is where a possible partner comes into play, in a way I would let him taking care of the sexuality instead of actively getting initiative myself.
Or is that a misinterpretation of this card? I find the Devil is a hard to read card in a positive position.
Yeah, it gets really interesting when you get a ‘negative’ card in a ‘positive’ position! I think there’s a lot to be said for your own interpretation with regards to projecting sexuality onto your partner and not owning the drive for yourself… but there is something else going on here if you look at the astrological correspondences for both cards. First you have the 2 of Pentacles which corresponds to Jupiter in Capricorn and then you have the Major The Devil which corresponds to the Zodiac sign of Capricorn. Any thoughts on this?
oh wow! Capricorn,r eally? I wasn´t aware of it.
Well, I am very drawn to men with Capricorn in their chart I must say.
my Venus is in Capricorn as well as Sun/Moon-mp and Antivertex. So I guess it must have something to do with balancing out my own Capricorn side.
Definitely!