As a tarot reader, I often get asked if the person a client is dating is their soul mate. There is nothing odd about having an intuitive feeling of being deeply connected to someone you have just met – Most of the time, the cards verify this gut feeling and he or she do indeed turn out to be a soul mate. What many people don’t realise is that meeting a soul mate does not automatically equal ‘happily ever after.’
The Wikipedia definition of soul mate only helps cement the myth that your soul mate is always a life long partner:
A soulmate (or soul mate) is a lifelong partner that is predetermined by God. Believed by some to be the person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, sex, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility.
By the way, in my experience, not even a Twin Flame (which is our other soul half) is always predetermined to be our lifelong companion – but that’s a story for another time.
Let’s dispel some of the most common myths and set the record straight!
Top 4 myths about soul mates and soul mate relationships
- When you meet your soul mate, you will end up marrying him or her
- You only have one soul mate and he or she is your ideal lover
- Soul mate relationships are always blissfully happy because you have finally met ‘The One’
- You can’t feel complete until you have met your soul mate
So what is a soul mate really and why do they come into our lives?
7 truths about soul mate relationships
- A soul mate is a member of your soul group
- Here on earth, they can be a family member, friend or even colleague
- You have a sense of instant recognition (or, in case of family members, a deeper bond than with the rest of the family)
- You can often sense your soul mate through time and space, even when physically separated
- Important life lessons are always attached to soul mate relationships
- They are rarely easy
- Feeling like you are somehow incomplete usually has nothing to do with not being in a soul mate relationship – It’s and indication that you need to learn to love yourself.
Your soul family
A soul mate is someone from your soul group or soul family – a group of souls that you have contracts with to learn certain lessons. Many of you will incarnate at the same time so that you can work out karmic issues and learn lessons set out in your soul contracts.
Your soul mate can be your brother, sister, father, uncle, grandmother, cousin, best friend, first boyfriend, the woman you settle down with, your grandson etc etc ad infitum.
How to tell if someone is your soul mate
So how do you know that they are a soul mate? You will have an instant and permanent bond which keeps you energetically united even if you were to separate physically. There is also some important life lesson attached to your relationship.
My paternal grandmother is from the same soul group as me. During some truly magical holidays, she awakened my interest in divination (she used to read coffee grounds and molten lead). She appeared in a dream vision a few years after she passed on, showing me her heavenly garden (she was an avid gardener in life) to let me know she was alright, which was a huge relief since she suffered horribly from multiple health problems late in life.
She died on my 19th birthday and while it was very upsetting at the time, I now know that this was a message in and of itself that she would always be with me and watch over me. The life lesson she taught me was to connect with and trust my intuition – it ended up being what I do for a living!
How to tell if a soul mate lover is ready to have a soul mate relationship with you
In love, soul mates come and soul mates go. Often we cling to doomed romantic relationships when we come across a soul mate lover because we misunderstand the purpose of their path crossing ours. Sometimes, it’s merely to teach us about forgiveness, kindness or unconditional love. Rarely is it about settling down and starting a family together.
Often, only time will tell. Even if you do have a Love Tarot reading, the reading won’t take choice away from either of you and even with soul mates, the future is not always set in stone. Yes, you were meant to meet. No, it doesn’t necessarily mean marriage.
In the end, it comes down to if you are both able to love and support each other unconditionally:
- Do you feel more expansive, safer and more supported in the relationship?
- Do you have more fun and a greater lust for life when you are together?
- Is there an equal flow of give and take?
- Is there mutual respect?
- Do you truly enrich each other’s existence?
- Do you both feel seen and listened to?
- Is your lover also your best friend?
If you answered yes to all of the questions above, you have realised full soul mate potential in your relationship. Contratulations!
However, if you answered ‘No’ to some of them, the person you are with could still be your soul mate – they may just not be ready for a soul mate experience. A Love Tarot reading could clear that up for you…