Heart Healing

Letting Your Ex Go Once & For All

girl crying over her ex image

He moved on and is flaunting his new girlfriend on Facebook but you are still missing him. There is a hole in your heart and it is shaped like him. If anything the pain seems to grow sharper and you have no idea how to let go of the feelings you still have for him.

Is this you?

The Tarot can help you understand why you are still hooked on your ex and what you need to do in order to let go.

Here is what you do:

Separate out all the court cards and choose the one most which represents your ex. It could be the one that looks most like him or the one with the same star sign… or it could be the one with the most similar characteristics. For instance, if your ex was an incurable flirt and you broke up over infidelity, the Knight of Wands might be a good fit.

If you don’t know which one to pick, check out 8 Types of W*ankers for a bit of light relief. It’s OK to laugh about it all too – in fact, the more you laugh, the quicker you’ll move on! If you still haven’t found the perfect match after reading this, email me and I’ll tell you which court card to use :)

Don’t be afraid to enlist an honest friend for help with this reading, so you have someone to brainstorm with for ideas on how to move forward. He or she don’t have to be expert Tarot readers.

Let’s say you dated a Scorpio and feel that the Scorpio Knight of Cups is a good match:

Knight of Cups Tarot card image

You may also feel that he is a good match because he was quite literally your Knight in Shining Armour for a while.

Shuffle the rest of the deck, cut it and fan the cards out. Randomly choose three cards. Lay the first card out across the Knight of Cups.

Card 1 represents the emotional and energetic hook your ex still has in your heart, gut or solar plexus.

Card 2 represents what you need to let go of now. This could represent a thought pattern or habit.

Card 3 represents what you need to introduce into your life. The Universe abhors a vacuum and old, unhealthy habits need to be replaced with new, healthy habits.

Tarot reading with the Witches Tarot image

Use a deck with fully illustrated pips such as the Witches Tarot above and allow your imagination to guide you (i.e. don’t rely too heavily on traditional interpretations).


1. The 6 of Pentacles. You feel cheated because you were given this shiny present and you’ve never been happier. Then someone came and took it away, touching on deep childhood wounds. Perhaps you were made to feel as if you didn’t deserve the gift of love. Examine the deeper underlying emotions and ask yourself if the thoughts that you entertain now and which are causing so much suffering are actually true.

2. The 7 of Pentacles. You need to stop waiting around for good things to happen or for him to come back. Not every seed that is planted bears fruit. Your relationship didn’t blossom into something that you were able to enjoy long term. That doesn’t mean you have to stick around and watch someone else pick the fruits on Facebook or down at your local.

3. The Chariot. Well, if there ever was a moving on card, this is the one! Now is the time to focus on your own goals and achievement. This card reminds you that you are powerful and in control of your own life. It reminds you that if you can dream it, you can achieve it, so get busy planning your future.

Regardless of which card you got in position three, the following questions will be helpful in terms of moving forward:

Where do you see yourself a month from now? A year from now?

Imagine where you want to be in vivid detail and feel how good it feels.

How can the information provided by the card in position 3 help you move forward?

List three practical things you can do to make your dreams come true. Make at least one of them something you can do on a daily basis.

Example of 3 practical things based on the message of The Chariot (which is all about self-confidence, success and empowerment): Put together a 5 year plan, practice daily positive affirmations, rise early and dress for success.

Yay!, now you have an action plan. Stick to it and watch yourself grow stronger and more confident every day!

☆ Lisa Frideborg Lloyd  

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15 replies »

  1. Hi, I just ended a psychologically abusive relationship exactly two weeks to the day today (Friday 9/7) after my going back and forth to him for just two weeks short of a year. Yes, I met him online. Yes, he would start out sweet everytime (so I’d be lured into thinking each time would be different). His true colors came out this time: he wants a submissive woman he can control like his 2nd ex-wife of 28 years apparently. Me? No way! So I am thinking The Reversed Knight of Swords from your suggestions of W*onkers (never heard that word before) best describes him.

    From your website: “He is always right. Period. Never mind that he changed his mind just now. He was right then and he is right now and you are always totally wrong.

    He doesn’t date much. If he trawls the Internet dating sites it’s mostly to find someone to troll and cyber bully. He hates women and doesn’t really try to hide what he thinks of the highly irrational, much weaker sex.” Will he ever score? He might occasionally pull because some chick thinks he’s really really clever. Mostly he just rapes women. He did not harm me physically although he tried to “playfully” a couple of times but didn’t succeed because he’s disabled physically.

    Feedback welcome – does this seem like a good choice?

    • Hi Jo, Sorry to hear about your man troubles. A guy who uses words to psychologically bully and abuse could very well be represented by the reversed Knight of Swords.

      Can I just say, not all guys you meet online are awful. I’m actually a fan of Internet dating – especially if you live somewhere remote and have a limited choice locally. You just have to be careful to not jump in head first. Taking your time to get to know the guy (and his friends, family etc) is key when you meet someone on a dating site.

      Hope you find peace and healing for your heart.


  2. Great post Lisa ! I was also wondering, could any of the cards above give you advise to hold onto your ex ? The spread is designed to help a person move on, however, what If It was a true meant to be relationship going through a rough patch, then do we look out for card 3 for more info ?

  3. It’s a great spread!!
    I got the 7 of swords in the first position. Huh? Pulled a clarifer. 7 of pents.
    Ah…I think I get it. I keep wondering the “what if’s” because a relationship never developed at all and I keep wondering what could have developed.
    Then 10 of cups which I’ve always wanted happiness and security.
    and 6 of wands, going out there and getting recognized.
    Still lost on the third card. lol

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, feedback and questions. Please note that, while I'm happy to answer questions about individual cards, I don't interpret spreads. I get several requests every day about interpreting DIY readings based on my spreads. Even if I had the time, I don’t think it would be a wise investment of my time to ‘read on readings’ – A reading is done in synergy between the cards, the question and the reader… in the MOMENT.

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