Dating

Three Stages of Love Tarot Spread

This spread was inspired by a dating advice article by the lovely Colette Kenney over at Huffington post. Do hop on over and read the whole thing as she’s got some great questions for self-inquiry at the end of it!

Colette goes over the three stages of love:

  • lust
  • attraction
  • attachment

The first stage is the initial surge of sexual energy that makes us really want the other person. Oh, if we only had them alone… We can’t stop fantasising about what we would do to them.

The second stage is the high we get when we first fall in love. They can do no wrong and the need for sleeping and eating becomes secondary to spending time with our beloved. This stage is said to last no more than three years at the most and a good thing it is too, as many other areas of our lives risk to fall by the wayside when we are preoccupied with the object of our desire.

Attraction is beyond our will or ideas sometimes.
~ Juliette Binoche

But these two stages are doomed to fade with time and (hopefully, if you are looking for long term) settle into attachment. The attachment stage is much less frenzied. There is still warmth but we’re not living with constant hormone high.

Colette’s advice was for a woman who was looking to find The Ever Elusive One on a dating website. I reckon she and any of you out there who are looking to meet someone for lasting love could do with a bit of help… Tarot to the rescue!

Three Stages of Love

Gilded Tarot Royale by Ciro Marchetti
Click image to enlarge!

You can use this spread to vet someone you are interested in dating, perhaps together with the Internet Dating Vetting spread, or you can use it for an already existing relationship where the first and/or second stage are already in the past:

1. You – Lust
2. Him – Lust
3. You – Attraction
4. Him – Attraction
5. You – Attachment
6. Him – Attachment
7. Overall long-term potential

SAMPLE READING

1. The Fool. You feel free and ready to explore a new relationship, especially with someone who is totally different to the type you normally go for… in fact, the more ‘out there’ the better!
2. 7 of Swords. He may have an agenda. The 7 of Swords is quite often a sign of someone with an ulterior motive.
3. 4 of Swords. The attraction stage is making you feel unusually free and at peace, as if there is no worry in the world. This is probably because the initial attraction fell under the auspice of The Fool.
4. 8 of Swords. He’s not quite as comfortable though. It looks like whatever ulterior motive he entered into this isn’t quite holding up.
5. The Knight of Pentacles is a good energy for long-term as it’s signified by steadfastness and a willingness to ‘plod along’ at an even peace. You’re in this for the long haul.
6. 5 of Swords. He seems internally conflicted and the reason why is found in the final card…
7. Ace of Cups. This is true love. There is unlimited potential for lasting, unconditional love. The male person in this reading is not quite there yet though and needs to let go of fear and learn to open his heart.

2 replies »

  1. So I guess I’m at the first stage and him at 2nd.

    1. 10 of Swords : I have a problem with this stage. I get very defensive, some bad past experiences etc led me here and I get overly cautious. I am being very slow despite my fiery nature

    2. The Lovers: Yeah I would have expected that. He is very sensual and very devoted kind of lover

    3. Five of Wands: I get defensive like I wrote above. In order to protect myself and my vulnerability, so it is expected.

    4. The Magician: He feels good where he is and I can vouch for that.

    5. Queen of Wands: Finally I can see things finally settling and I can feel myself at stage 3.

    6. The Empress: wow all majors for him. This relationship definitely means a lot to him. and all cards are wonderful for him.

    7. Ace of Pentacles: Aces are good because they promise a new beginning but I’d have liked to see ace of Hearts. This relationship seems more likely to be based on physical and material aspects than emotional aspects of our relationship. but between two practical minded rams, what else can we expect.

  2. 1- 7 of pentacles – finally found the one I was searching
    2- Knight of wands – traveller approach from his side
    3- 4 of swords – now I am confused – probably I look at him as retreat
    4- tower – sudden total change facinates my daredevil lover
    5- sun – he definitely is the sunshine of my life. very attached to this rash lover of mine
    6- 10 of wands – he the eternal traveller looks at me as emotional burden
    7- 10 of cups – emotional satisfaction.
    Lisa I am totally confused with the last card as long term potential as my lover is a very logical, practical kind almost a ram.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, feedback and questions. Please note that, while I'm happy to answer questions about individual cards, I don't interpret spreads. I get several requests every day about interpreting DIY readings based on my spreads. Even if I had the time, I don’t think it would be a wise investment of my time to ‘read on readings’ – A reading is done in synergy between the cards, the question and the reader… in the MOMENT.

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