Tarot for Love and Relationships – Email Readings

Codependency, Vampirism and The Devil

Codependency is an unhealthy form of attachment where one person subordinates their needs to meet the needs of another even though the other person is abusive. Classic codependency involves substance abuse of some type, but the term is used more broadly to describe any type of relationship where one person neglects their own needs and obsesses about meeting the needs of another person. Essentially the codependent personality type has one main need of her own: to be needed.

Someone who is codependent suffers from low self-esteem and usually gets their way through manipulation and passive aggression rather than being direct. They are in denial about what is happening in the relationship because they are cut off from their own power.

Codependents are magnetised toward Narcissistic personality types who welcome their sacrifice and feed on their energy (emotional vampirism). Often, but not always, the codependent person was brought up by a Narcissistic parent.

A codependent person tends to comply with the other person and values the opinions of the other more highly than their own opinion. They also display extreme loyalty to the person sucking them dry.

They resent when others deny them to help out and they use blame/shame, charm, gifts (sometimes to the point of financial ruin) and sex (including forms of perversion and degradation) to control those whom they perceive as incapable of looking after themselves (the addict or Narcissist).

When the higher self alerts the mind to the truth and the mind starts becoming aware of what is going on with the codependent ego, the ego usually defends itself in one of two ways so that it won’t have to heal: excessive aggression or going into victim mode.

Medically, codependency is treated through psychotherapy, possibly together with antidepressants. There are also support group for codependents, just like there are for addicts.

Energetically, healing needs to take place primarily on the third chakra (seat of personal power) level because this is where codependents tend to be corded to their partners, relinquishing their own power. Psychically, the cords look black and extraordinarily thick, taking up almost the whole diameter of the solar plexus chakra.

Cord cutting is something you can attempt on your own with a bit of help from the Angels… but if you are in the process of freeing yourself from a codependent relationship, you may sometimes need a hand. Please check out my new cord cutting service if you feel guided to do so!

In the Tarot, The Devil card is often an indication of a codependent dynamic in a relationship. The Devil indicates power over another rather than the power of love represented by The Lovers. The mind influenced by The Devil is completely owned by the ego and dances at the end of the puppet strings of its fears. This mindset could represent two sides of the same coin, i.e. both the addict/Narcissist and the codependent. Essentially, both have a contract which precludes emotional freedom.

Delusion becomes a major component when you find The Devil together with the 7 of Cups. An abundance of Cups cards with The Devil as a central card/theme, or the The Devil next to the King of Cups (as well as a reversed King of Cups on his own) is usually the sign of an addict. Another main theme is lies/deceit – represented by The Devil + the 7 of Swords.

The Lovers together with The Devil shows you a relationship with potential to be redeemed if both parties start making different choices. The Devil together with Temperance or The Star shows that healing can begin thanks to an influx of divine grace.

The codependent personality type can be seen as the reversed Queen of Cups or the Queen of Cups together with The Devil.

The narcissistic personality type can be seen as either the reversed King of Wands or the King of Wands together with The Devil.

 

14 Responses to “Codependency, Vampirism and The Devil”

  1. Vie Magique

    Good post. I recognise some of that in myself, but not all (in particular, I don’t tend to subordinate my opinions and I don’t have low self-esteem in all areas of life, only in some of them.) But I am loyal to a fault and I’ll make excuses for someone’s lack of integrity and accountability, even though I value integrity and accountability highly. And yes, the collusion in my own abuse, allowing myself to be sucked dry… ugh. I am fresh out of a relationship with a covert narcissist, and in the process of analysing the dynamic from a safe distance. Thank you for this post.
    Sophie

    Reply
    • Lisa Frideborg Lloyd

      Sophie, it’s not all black and white, is it? Experience is teaching me this. Most articles (including this one) are written as if it is a cut and dry case of this, that or the other… I think we both know it isn’t so. I’m headstrong and, like you, not afraid to air my own opinions… Yet I too somehow managed to display patterns of codependency in a couple of my relationships. Again, we’re back to the needs/motivations issue. At certain points in our lives we are more vulnerable to vampirism. I doubt that it will happen again, for either of us.

      Reply
  2. antonrossi

    Oh yes! I have met some and still unfortunately know some very close. I never realized you could get treatment for it. I also don’t think from experience that drugs or abuse are always necessarily involved. The dependency is the drug. Relying on someone else to feed your ego and theirs will never work in the long run. It’s not love it’s obsession. I could go on forever about this since someone close to me has this self destructive streak and a similar relationship. It must be so awful to be so tense all the time and where does trust fits? I most certainly would not want my partner with me 24/7 and being my only friend and being in touch 24/7, and as you say one does it because of low self esteem, the other because they are narcissistic and feed on it. Very sad.

    Reply
    • Lisa Frideborg Lloyd

      Yes. The lack of freedom makes it sad. Sorry to hear about your friend. It’s hard to watch friends go through this. Thanks for commenting, Anton.

      Reply
  3. donnaleighdlr

    Gosh, the Universe speaks and I guess we were both listening! I was just writing an extensive post about relationships with Narcissists, and when I went to post it on Google Plus, I saw your post of a very similar thing! That’s pretty amazing. This is a great post.

    Reply
    • Lisa Frideborg Lloyd

      Wow! Thanks. I’m halfway through reading your post, DL… great stuff! Yes, the Universe definitely has a message for us all here :) I’m going back to finish reading yours now. Very, very interesting.

      Reply
  4. moderndayruth

    Great post Lisa! Thank you for not only writing it as it is, but also for offering tools for insight and solutions! Genius!

    Reply
  5. Lisa Frideborg Lloyd

    Thank you very much, Lena! It’s funny you should use those words… I must have said ‘insights and solutions’ about three times during a phone call last night :D xxx

    Reply
  6. Krysten

    Such an excellent post!! Been there, done that, never no more! That extreme Capricorn sense of loyalty and honor got me into a world of trouble in a relationship with a narcissistic Scorpio for a long time. It took many years to cut those astral cords but I am so happy I have.

    I really like your take on the 7ofC with the Devil. That for me tends to show alcoholism but I totally feel you in the delusion it reflects. Thank you for such an insightful post!

    K

    Reply
    • Lisa Frideborg Lloyd

      Thanks, Krysten! Scorpio energies can really pull you in. Been there myself ;) And yes to the 7 of Cups in this combo possibly being a sign of alcoholism but it can also be a sign of other addictions – an addiction to sex even – and anything that keeps you in a co-dependent pattern. The 7 of Cups alone is my ‘hiding in a bottle’ card and I’ve seen it show alcoholism together with other cards too. xo

      Reply

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