Codependency is an unhealthy form of attachment where one person subordinates their needs to meet the needs of another even though the other person is abusive. Classic codependency involves substance abuse of some type, but the term is used more broadly to describe any type of relationship where one person neglects their own needs and obsesses about meeting the needs of another person. Essentially the codependent personality type has one main need of her own: to be needed.
Someone who is codependent suffers from low self-esteem and usually gets their way through manipulation and passive aggression rather than being direct. They are in denial about what is happening in the relationship because they are cut off from their own power.
Codependents are magnetised toward Narcissistic personality types who welcome their sacrifice and feed on their energy (emotional vampirism). Often, but not always, the codependent person was brought up by a Narcissistic parent.
A codependent person tends to comply with the other person and values the opinions of the other more highly than their own opinion. They also display extreme loyalty to the person sucking them dry.
They resent when others deny them to help out and they use blame/shame, charm, gifts (sometimes to the point of financial ruin) and sex (including forms of perversion and degradation) to control those whom they perceive as incapable of looking after themselves (the addict or Narcissist).
When the higher self alerts the mind to the truth and the mind starts becoming aware of what is going on with the codependent ego, the ego usually defends itself in one of two ways so that it won’t have to heal: excessive aggression or going into victim mode.
Medically, codependency is treated through psychotherapy, possibly together with antidepressants. There are also support group for codependents, just like there are for addicts.
Energetically, healing needs to take place primarily on the third chakra (seat of personal power) level because this is where codependents tend to be corded to their partners, relinquishing their own power. Psychically, the cords look black and extraordinarily thick, taking up almost the whole diameter of the solar plexus chakra.
Cord cutting is something you can attempt on your own with a bit of help from the Angels… but if you are in the process of freeing yourself from a codependent relationship, you may sometimes need a hand. Please check out my new cord cutting service if you feel guided to do so!
In the Tarot, The Devil card is often an indication of a codependent dynamic in a relationship. The Devil indicates power over another rather than the power of love represented by The Lovers. The mind influenced by The Devil is completely owned by the ego and dances at the end of the puppet strings of its fears. This mindset could represent two sides of the same coin, i.e. both the addict/Narcissist and the codependent. Essentially, both have a contract which precludes emotional freedom.
Delusion becomes a major component when you find The Devil together with the 7 of Cups. An abundance of Cups cards with The Devil as a central card/theme, or the The Devil next to the King of Cups (as well as a reversed King of Cups on his own) is usually the sign of an addict. Another main theme is lies/deceit – represented by The Devil + the 7 of Swords.
The Lovers together with The Devil shows you a relationship with potential to be redeemed if both parties start making different choices. The Devil together with Temperance or The Star shows that healing can begin thanks to an influx of divine grace.
The codependent personality type can be seen as the reversed Queen of Cups or the Queen of Cups together with The Devil.
The narcissistic personality type can be seen as either the reversed King of Wands or the King of Wands together with The Devil.