Any of you who have dated a man (or woman) with commitment issues will recognise the central pattern in the reading below. To deal with the shock and chaos created when a commitment phobic splits, you can use a spread I created a while back – The WTF?! Tarot Spread.
As any of you who have watched Talladega Nights will know, it’s just when things start to look up that the commitment phobic usually hits the road.
The shakes set in and the self-destructive urges take over. The shift is visible in their eyes if you look closely. The love goes and is replaced by something cold, almost repitilian. They become glib and/or start picking on everything you do. Then you wait for the ‘Volcano of Justified Anger’ to erupt and watch them leave while you are left to pick up the pieces.
I used the Thoth Tarot for this reading:
1. Shows you the underlying reason for what just happened.
The 8 of Cups. In the Thoth Tarot the 8 of Cups is known as “The Lord of Abandoned Success” – It kinda says it all, doesn’t it? This is Saturn in Pisces, urging us to climb our mountain in order to avoid stagnation, which we all know equals death of the relationship. However, to a commitment phobic, this process is too high a price to pay as it would mean facing their own shadow.
2. Shows you how you really feel about this deep down.
Now that the dust has settled you feel quite peaceful about the situation as shown by the 2 of Swords. I mean, it’s not like you’ve never seen this sort of thing before. You know it’s ‘his stuff.’ Yes, it still hurts but this time your life is not stopping and you’re quite happy or at least at peace with the world turning.
3. Shows you how your partner really feels about this.
The Prince of Cups is a Scorpio energy card which gives us hope that a process of transformation might take place inside him. Maybe he’ll realise that he needs to change something instead of just blaming you, work or his parents. Maybe not. Maybe it means that he’ll go questing for true love elsewhere, looking for change without rather than within yet again. Time will tell.
4. Shows you the worst approach to resolving this situation.
The worst approach is represented by the Gemini Knight of Swords which tells you that being in communication with him right now is a very bad idea. He needs to find ‘peace of mind.’
5. Shows you the best approach to healing the situation and addressing the root cause.
Since it’s obvious that this is about his stuff, the best you can do is to be supportive of your daughter (Princess of Disks) who should not have to be involved in this kind of on-and-off scenario. All your love and attention will be directed toward her to make sure she’s got everything she wants.
6. Shows you the likely outcome if you follow the advice given about the best approach.
The outcome for you is that it will teach you about nurturing and healing in practical ways (Queen of Disks). Two additional cards were pulled for the possible outcome and it looks like it’s still in the balance with two 2 numerology cards (2 of Cups and XX The Aeon). It feels like it will be a definite on or off with the Aeon card though which should come as a relief to you.
That Tarot truly is an invaluable tool for peace of mind!
Here’s a link to a page with tips on how to spot a commitment phobic.