Any of you who have dated a man (or woman) with commitment issues will recognise the central pattern in the reading below. This morning, I found a use for the spread I created just over a month ago, aptly called the The WTF?! Tarot Spread.

To be honest, I couldn’t use it straight away. I had to ride the wave of shock for a day or two first because it had started looking really good and like we would be able to leave the past behind once and for all. However, as any of you who have watched Talladega Nights will know, it’s just when things start to look up that the commitment phobic splits.

The shakes set in and the self-destructive urges take over. The shift is visible in their eyes if you look closely. The love goes and is replaced by something cold, almost repitilian. They become glib and/or start picking on everything you do. Then you wait for the ‘Volcano of Justified Anger’ to erupt and watch them leave while you are left to pick up the pieces.

I used the Thoth Tarot for this reading:

1. Shows you the underlying reason for what just happened.

The 8 of Cups. In the Thoth Tarot the 8 of Cups is known as “The Lord of Abandoned Success” – It kinda says it all, doesn’t it? This is Saturn in Pisces, urging us to climb our mountain in order to avoid stagnation, which we all know equals death of the relationship. However, to a commitment phobic, this process is too high a price to pay as it would mean facing their own shadow.

2. Shows you how you really feel about this deep down.

Now that the dust has settled I feel quite peaceful about the situation as shown by the 2 of Swords. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never seen this sort of thing before. I know it’s ‘his stuff.’ Yes, it still hurts but this time my life is not stopping and I’m quite happy with the world turning.

3. Shows you how your partner really feels about this.

The Prince of Cups is a Scorpio energy card which gives me hope that a process of transformation might take place inside him. Maybe he’ll realise that he needs to change something instead of just blaming me, work or his parents. Maybe not. Maybe it means that he’ll go questing for true love elsewhere, looking for change without rather than within yet again. Time will tell.

4. Shows you the worst approach to resolving this situation.

The worst approach is represented by the Gemini Knight of Swords which tells me that being in communication with him right now is a very bad idea. He needs to find ‘peace of mind’ (his words).

5. Shows you the best approach to healing the situation and addressing the root cause.

Since it’s obvious that this is about his stuff, the best I can do is to be supportive of my daughter who should not have to be involved in this kind of on-and-off scenario. All my love and attention will be directed toward her to make sure she’s got everything she wants.

6. Shows you the likely outcome if you follow the advice given about the best approach.

The outcome for me is that it will teach me about nurturing and healing in practical ways (Queen of Disks). I wanted to know what the potential outcome for the relationship might be so I pulled two additional cards but it looks like it’s still in the balance with two 2 numerology cards (2 of Cups and XX The Aeon). It feels like it will be a definite on or off with the Aeon card though which is a huge relief.

That Tarot truly is an invaluable tool for peace of mind!

Here’s a link to a page with tips on how to spot a commitment phobic.

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