Communication

How He Really Feels

Apparently, men don’t like to talk about their feelings. I wish someone would have told me this growing up – It would have saved me a lot of hassle. You may argue it’s just a sexist cliché but as clichés go, I’ve found it to be mostly true. Most men get angry and shut down when we suggest dialogue as a way of problem solving. If I’d had a penny for every time this happened to me, I’d be a rich woman by now.

Perhaps women even developed their intuitive skills in order to gain insights into the minds of men. That’s as good a theory as any when it comes to the legendary female intuition.

Thank heaven for the gifts of second sight and divination! Here’s a little tool I developed to help you see if your man will walk his talk and what is really going on in his heart and mind.

Tarot Spread Image

1. His story – What he’s telling you
2. What he’s really thinking
3. How he feels about you deep down
4. How he’s walking his talk
5. Outside influences on his walk
6. How he will be walking his talk within 6-8 weeks

 

48 replies »

  1. I did this and what I got was:
    1) High Priestess
    2) 2 of Wands
    3) Queen of Swords
    4) Ace of Wands
    5) The Star
    6) Knave of Pentacles
    Honestly, I don’t know if this is how he feels, or how I feel since the High Priestess is the first card.
    I would post on FB, but I used the Decameron Tarot, which is the deck I use for my guy and I.
    Hugs
    Trish

  2. Trish, if the HP is ‘his story’ there could be a lot he’s not telling you. She’s known to be quite secretive. I feel he’ll remain loyal to you with the Knight of Pentacles as the outcome. Lots to think about and analyse here!

  3. I had a man whom I was working with sort of stalking me for 8 months. When I was vulnerable though I didn’t outwardly show it, I started thinking I developing feelings for him. I was extremely inexperienced and he was attracted if not obsessed with my “purity”. I sent him a letter detailing how difficult it would be to develop a relationship. I was so distraught over it and still am because I believe he loved/idealized he so much. Then he messaged me that he “never had any feelings” for me and was getting married and engaged. I told him he was my first love and I wanted to see him once for closure. he refused. For him to move on, It’s what I wanted him to do, but something feels wrong. As a woman I trust my instincts and about the feelings (not the fiancee) I feel he is lying. He has made it out to be that I was stalking him… I leave the country in 2 weeks, so i don’t have to come back. As a person who grew up, constantly self-sacrifacing myself for family and friends I didn’t think of myself and my pain, I felt so much pain just for hurting him. I got seriously ill over it.

    1.10 of swords–Magican
    2.Knight of swords–6 of wands
    3.High priestess–This card jumped out. 5 of cups. Then 7 of pentacles. Judgment.
    4.The Empress–3 of pentacles
    5.2 of wands–Sun
    6.7 of cups–Ace of swords

    I’ve been presented often by others as the Magican, so that might possibly be me. I don’t know. Paired with the 10 of swords, perhaps he’s being over dramatic??

    2. He’s thinking about how get out of the situation of having stalked me. (People knew) So I guess trying to get acknowledgement and Victory. His mission that he riding to. Since this is communication, literally doing so by words.

    3. How he feels. High Priestess. Could it be me? I know people often see the High Priestess as the woman that is out of reach for a man. But paired with the 5 of cups, hiding his disappointment and 7 of pentacles, feeling like all that work (stalking) was futile. Judgment as him having made a decision about me and not going back on me or since It was me, making the decision to go home.

    4. Empress-3 of Pentacles… Page of wands. A child is involved. I’m lost on this.

    5. 2 of wands and the Sun. Strength. He has a new job and new opportunities I guess. Strength as other people giving him strength,

    6. 7 of cups could mean somethings about illusions. Ace of swords–extreme thoughts.
    Since this is a reading basically concerning me, I don’t know if the thoughts are negative, just there. I also pulled the page of swords. T_T Isn’t that also the spying card??? With my recent illness, my co-workers whom he was close with are probably keeping tabs on me if the Page of swords do represent that. My boss was particularly close to him and was a major influence in pushing me towards him. She’s been taking care of me since I was sick. She wants to know my plans, what am I going to do about money and has always mentioned security. She mentioned recently after I confessed that I liked him and that my love is like a child, that I only want the people I love to be happy and healthy.

    I got told that I would be “the one that got away”. Although we were never in a relationship, and up until now I still haven’t been in one. I feel that he idealizes this. The girl who had never even held hands..etc. Sometimes I felt like an object to be won and shown off. I have also read that to to others it represents “infatuation”. Idealizing, Infatuation, and spying?? Maybe I’m reading it wrong.

    I been trying to laugh at the situation because it was so similiar to Sense and Sensiblity. Though I’m definately more like Elinor’s charactor, my situation with the illness definately parallelled Marianne. To this day though I still haven’t really fallen in love yet…though I think of this as being pretty close to it.

      • I always think they add more knowledge expecially if they’re Court cards. In this situation there have been a LOT of people involved which is ironic since neither of us have ever been alone in each other’s company. I just began reading Tarot cards. I have had many readings done. So while I know the best decision for me has been underway. But I feel like if I knew what his feelings or intentions where I could move on.

        If he had a girlfriend/fiancee and just wanted to chase me because of “ego” (I rejected him because my boss was the one who confessed and I thought they were joking because we hadn’t even spoken to one another ever. This was 2 months into him sitting next to me at work. And in the last 7 months we only spoke once and even then not long. He is a difficult person to read and as you wrote before, men just do not talk about their feelings. If he loved me, I am unable to give him a normal relationship because I am asexual. <–Whew that's a secret! ^_^ I gave him a letter detailing the difficulties in the relationship, culture differences, language differences, etc. I wanted to him to be able to have the kind of relationship he wanted by being with a person who could provide for his needs.

        I had a really difficult childhood and adolescene constantly sacrificing myself and in this relationship I would have to do quite a bit of that. My home country, my language, my family, my virginity, and I didn't want to think of it in that way. I didn't want to lord it over him like I had seen in some relationships growing up. And yet I was uncomfortable with the idea that this was possibly what he wanted.

        If lust, well it's lust.

        He sent me passive agressive text messages making me seem like I was stalking him/protecting himself.

        There are so many layers of secrets from other people, I can't get to the truth and if you can't tell yet, if I was a court card, I'd probably be a sword. So the truth is so important to me. I just want to know. It'll clear up so much.

  4. I’m pretty new and am always worried I will be biased. People have told me to stop worry about this and I’m trying. I’m hoping that someday he will realize my intentions. I never wanted him to think it wasn’t because he wasn’t good enough as I know that can do a number on someone’s self worth.

    He said he’s engaged and getting married and I don’t know if she had always been there or not. If she was, he was just trying to fool around with me. Which is pretty cruel in itself, seeing as to how I’d never been in a relationship before.

    He may have been single up until my letter and then to protect his pride, have this as the rebound.

    Or he could have had her for security reasons, and wanted to start something with me but when that didn’t pan out went back to plan A.

    The thing is I want to know if he was lying, if so, what about? What were his intentions and feelings?

    I don’t plan on starting a relationship with him, but I feel like I can let go of the hope of the “what if’s” and “what could’ve been” if I knew the real feelings and intentions.

    And though I HAVE asked, other than tarot there’s no way to ask.
    What we have as feelings are “High prietess, 5 of cups, 7 of pents, and Judgment,”

    Is it bad to draw too many cards? I know it is, but I don’t have a proper deck. I plan on purchasing one once I go home.

    The reason i don’t plan on starting a relationship is because I have a strong fear of so-dependency here.

    • Hi Ami, sounds like you could really do with a reading! And I mean by a professional. I’m not saying that to de-value the reading you did for yourself but because I know how difficult can be to detach enough in situations like these… Blessings, Lisa

      • I had one done and numerous ones done. But it was always focused on what I needed to do in my life and such and where I was headed. Most said they were against do a reading about him because it would be tapping into his life energy or something along those lines.

        And I’m not afraid to ask those tough questions!!! But chances are slim I would get an honest answer from other people. I can’t ask him at all because then it will reaffirm that I look like a stalker which I’m not.

        He’s been represented as Knight of cups and she said I was aligning myself with him. So I’m guessing he did have romantic feelings. Here’s the reading.

        I think there 7-8 Major Arcana cards. That’s pretty insane to me.

        So now I’m in the process of letting it all go, but (there’s always a but) I JUST want to know what the heck was going on.

  5. With his feelings and motivations and intentions. That’s what I want to know. Basically and usually I need to focus on me. ^_^ I’m very sword like though, so my knowledge is important to me. What I know and trusting my instincts and everything.

  6. Sorry you didn’t get the help you felt you needed at the time from the Tarot reader you consulted. Next time, before ordering a reading, perhaps you will email the reader to see if they will be able to help you with your question? As you can see, I do offer this exact reading as one of my email services, so that would have probably addressed your concerns. However, you seem all ‘read out’ on the matter now and I would advice you to take a break from any more readings – for at least another 3 months – unless there is significant development.

    • Well actually I’m not. Just here, I can’t get an immediate results because of the language barrier. So you’re okay with breaking his “space”. Cause I’m all for it! I’m also curious as to my feelings on the matters and where the relationship would have gone. My first reading said that if I wanted security he would provide it. And now I’ve changed a lot as a person. I’m not as much as a pushover. My other readers have told me that there are new people romantically going to come into my life. I would love a reading!

  7. It suddenly hit me like a lightening bolt! It doesn’t matter WHAT he thinks. It’s a waste of time. Time to move on! ^___^

    • 1. king of Ps
      2. 5 of cups
      3. Hermit

      4. Eight of Ps
      5.ace of Ps
      6. Four of ps

      Wow, there’s a lot of earth energy here. With the king of ps, I feel this relates to him giving me lots of good advice with my research. 5 of cups, means we both let each other down a long time ago. The Hermit, I see as I mean a lot to him, he’s thinking long and hard about me and he feels lonely if I disappear for a day or two.

      I see the ace of Ps as something manifesting physically soon (hurrah!) but he will be possessive. There will be something uncommonly intense in his feelings for me.

      But I’m a little confused about how to interpret the 8 of Ps here….

      Lisa, what do you think?

      • Snook, that’s hard for me to say as I wouldn’t read the other cards the way you read them. The Ace of Pentacles is an outside influence and not related to how he will treat you. I’m not sure how you reached those conclusions…?

  8. Sorry Lisa, I reported the ace of pentacles and eight of pentacles the wrong war around, so the ace of pentacles will be how he treats me. So does this make more sense? And just to clarify, I see the four of pentacles as being obsessive yet controlled. Does this make sense.

    Thank you for your blog, it’s great!

  9. I met someone about a month ago that I really liked, felt that he really liked me and could be the one but, I kept getting gut feelings that he wasn’t treating me in the most genuine way (like he was trying to manipulate me) and I ended it.

    I did a 3 card (past/present/ immediate future) spread about a week ago and got
    1. 2 of cups
    2. 8 of swords
    3. hanged man

    I did this spread tonight and I got:

    1. 3 of pentacles
    2. Ace of cups
    3. 6 of cups
    4. 10 of swords–no surprises here since I did feel he was trying to manipulate me
    5. Queen of swords- which I think represents me since my rising sign is indeed Gemini and I didn’t tolerate any manipulation
    6. Page of pentacles

    Between the two spreads, I would say my feelings from the beginning were right and we’ll need to reboot but, that we could work. Any insights Lisa?

    • Your conclusion is one possibility and I believe the Pentacles represent messengers, so a message could be key. In the case of the Pentacles, it should be a message about meeting up face to face. I think the Swords energy just gets in the way here. And that energy includes electronic messages. You need face time. And touch. Reboot not so much with your mind but with your heart, soul and body.

  10. Hello, I am not very sure about my reading. I´m confused.

    1.temperance
    2. the fool
    3. the star
    4. the world
    5. the empress
    6. the sun

    This cards isn´t bad, but maybe you can give me little direction, to read this better.

    Thank you!

  11. Could you please explain more in depth to me what my results mean?

    1 – 9 of Cups
    2 – 6 of Wands
    3 – 10 of Cups
    4 – 5 of Pentacles
    5 – Page of Swords
    6 – King of Swords

    Please know that the person I did this about is my supervisor at my new job if that has anything to do with the answers. I’m really curious because of how he acts towards me.
    Thanks :)

  12. Couldn’t resist giving this a try.

    1. His story – What he’s telling you – 10 of pents
    2. What he’s really thinking – Emperor
    3. How he feels about you deep down – Q of Wands
    4. How he’s walking his talk – Hanged Man
    5. Outside influences on his walk – Tower
    6. How he will be walking his talk within 6-8 weeks – Prince (Knight) of Pents

    I’ve recently got to know someone who lives a long way away – I think I want a relationship with him but he’s not ready to commit and to be fair we hardly know each other and both have busy lives in our respective home towns. The logistics would be tricky but not impossible especially in the medium term. We’re both in our 40s and he’s slightly older than me, no kids involved.

    1 It is possible he’s giving me the impression he’d like a relationship to give him more time to think about whether this is what he really wants?

    2 and 3 Maybe he thinks he’s in control of the situation :-) He does like women to be ladylike and I’m not especially. I am a natural redhead, fairly alternative and am reasonably assertive (though reserved) in my private life. He brings out my passionate side, which is normally quite well hidden, so probably sees me in a completely different way to my friends. I might actually be too quiet for him IRL.

    4 He seems to be hedging his bets, which is understandable (unless he’s still hung up on an ex). We both tend to be people pleasers and it’s been incredibly instructive for me to watch his behaviour, seeing what I normally do myself reflected back at me and knowing how stressful it is to try to achieve an emotional balance with all the pressure you put yourself under (pressure which comes from inside but which it’s all too easy to blame the other person for). Also for impatient me to learn to wait for things to develop in their own time is extremely hard.

    5 I read with the Thoth deck so don’t think this is necessarily negative, it’s breakthrough or breakdown (eg I once got the Tower as the outcome card for a couple who were going to their final adoption panel meeting – they were approved). Something will happen in the short term to clarify his thinking and he’ll be able to make a decision on what to do.

    6 Any movement forward would be good, but I’m choosing to see this as a hopeful sign. Actually wondering whether the breakthrough will be him taking a risk and showing me his real personality which he might currently feel is not exciting enough for the Q of Wands? And that might move things onto a less stressful and more honest footing.

    Interesting process!

  13. Hello Lisa! Love your work by the way!
    Just saw this post and felt really intrigued cause i met a guy recently, we’ve been talking but he isn’t saying enough.. so had to try the spread and this is the outcome and my understanding.. :

    1. His story – What he’s telling you – The Emperor
    2. What he’s really thinking – 6 of Swords
    3. How he feels about you deep down – 7 of Wands
    4. How he’s walking his talk – Death
    5. Outside influences on his walk – 4 of Swords
    6. How he will be walking his talk within 6-8 weeks – 8 of Swords

    1. He is telling me that he is a powerful individual, confident, hard working. Above all else, he teaches – without even trying, perhaps – the benefits of structure and logic ruling over the emotions and lesser desires. He works hard and sees things from a logical point of view. He is attracted to order, logic, and organization. And he is definitely showing me his strong self!

    2. He is going on a trip, starting all over, moving to better times, the only way to escape the turbulent waters of our emotions may be to leave them behind (maybe he is still recovering from a breakup!) most then likely.. He is moving away.. taking a look at where he’s been and where he’s going.. Maybe feeling a bit depressed and sad, but knows that he needs to go.. to better times.. He is going from a negative venue to a more positive one, it’s hard but things can only get better, but with a highly controlled balance of logic and intuition. A change, maybe it’s hard but it’s for the best.

    3. (i got a bit stuck on this one!!) But this is my understanding, hopefully you can enlighten me Lisa!
    Is it that he feels that i am a challenge for him? A battle? Is he facing his fears and trying to turn then to his advantage? So he can grow stronger and face the other challenges ahead of what our relationship might cause? Or in the other hand is he feeling that i have the courage that i need to overcome the obstacles that i might be facing? Or perhaps he is thinking if i am worthwhile fighting for?? The reading seemed fine but then this card came up and i got lost.. Could it maybe be with the fact that we are on a battle (chasing each other to see who eventually gives in??) If it is worth giving in/fighting for?? Does he feel that he is in any sort of competitive situation, that me(or)him will have to come out on top? Deep down i know that he knows that we both should speak our mind.. but it’s been hard (that’s the first reason why i done this spread!!) I also feel that we both need to face our fears and turning them around for our advantage but maybe none of us wants to lose this “battle”.

    4. And once again this guy is going through bad times and massive changes!! Getting rid of old beliefs and acquiring new ones. Transformation time.. He if facing a transition to a next level of life. The day has come, life will still go on, change is beneficial but maybe it’s hard for him to face it and deal with it properly.. (perhaps hence why he hasn’t asked me out yet!! – maybe he is not ready yet!) Maybe he needs to accept the change before he enters a new relationship and maybe he knows it!! The old must die, must go and he needs to heal, he needs to let go of the old and welcome the new. “wake up call” – for his own sake. One door may have closed, but another is opening and that is for sure! I wish he could open himself more.. I do feel that i could help..

    5. He needs peace and mental clarity.. A period of rest and recovery after a time of challenge, with the promise that, once recovered, he will return to the challenge. In the meantime,a tough new challenge – the challenge to stay silent. (that’s why he isn’t communicating as much i wanted him to be!) Time of relaxation, of course still dealing with his daily business (emperor). He is healing from previous breakups/hard situations, deep down i feel that he is still hurting, therefor doesn’t really open up and show me his true feelings, instead he is showing me that he is strong/successful (emperor).

    6. I did not like to see the 8 of swords here! It feels that he will not move forward, that his hurt and pain will not pass that quickly!! It still feels that in 6-8 weeks it will still be time of powerlessness and restriction! He will probably be holding himself back because of fear of moving into the future or because he will be wary of getting hurt by a new situation or new relationship with me! Feels to me that he is not letting go of all that hurt. Maybe he will still not be ready for a new relationship because he is still suffering and not letting go! He needs to let himself free from the bonds of fear and doubt! There is always options and ways to escape but maybe he is his only enemy for not letting go.. He needs to accept the mental clarity and peace..

    So where do i stand in the middle of all this?? I hoped i made sense to all of you and i also hope that you can share your thoughts and try to enlighten me in one way or another :) many blessings and thank you for your time.

      • Hi Lisa, thanks for the comment, it did make sense, mas all i am really confused is about : 3. How he feels about you deep down – 7 of Wands.. It would be great if you kindly please give me your point of view and once again thank you

  14. I did this spread and had great results! The only question I have is I pulled the princess of wands in the third position and I’m not to sure what to make of it. Any help would be appreciated

    • The Pages/Princess are children and students so if this card describes his feelings for you, they are probably more based in lust than love with the fiery Princess of Wands – lacking in depth and maturity but keen!

  15. Hello Lisa,

    I had a friend that I liked very, very much. But I never told him how I felt about him. I figured that I would only get hurt since he put me in the “Friend Zone.” So six weeks ago I decided to just, disappear, no explanations. Unfortunately I miss him. Last week I did a spread asking what I should be doing about this “partnership” and what he should do. I got “The Hanged Man,” and his card was the “9 of Wands.” So I get that I’m supposed to do nothing. But I truly am beginning to wonder if I will ever see him again. If only I didn’t miss him… :(

    I used the Morgan-Greer Tarot and received the following:

    1. His story – What he’s telling you – Page of Pentacles
    2. What he’s really thinking – King of Swords
    3. How he feels about you deep down – 2 of Swords
    4. How he’s walking his talk – 4 of Cups
    5. Outside influences on his walk – Ace of Swords
    6. How he will be walking his talk within 6-8 weeks – The Chariot

    I’m having a quite bit of difficulty interpreting this spread, because I’m not good with swords cards. He is a Libra and thinks quite a bit about things (obsessively at times) so perhaps this would be why so many would pop up.

    The King of Swords is supposed to know exactly what he wants with ultimate clarity, but the 2 of swords is about not knowing and being unable to make decisions. What in the world?? So, he knows what he wants, but can’t decide what he wants to do about it, or feel about it? But then… outside influence is the Ace of Swords. This too is supposed to be about knowing “something” with clarity. And the final card is The Chariot. To me it says that he’s finally made a decision and is pushing full steam ahead. But uh…. is he running toward me? Or is he running away from me? Since I see swords as emotionally neutral, I can’t tell what direction this chariot is going. What am I missing here?

    • 2 of Swords is Moon in Libra so that could be his Libra nature shining through in his emotions about you and this situation. Ultimately, the Chariot is rarely positive for relationships as it can signal ‘my way or the highway.’ With this as the outcome, the other person is more concerned with number One than any other people involved. He is someone who lives very much in his head and hence missing opportunities for deeper emotional connections (4 of Cups), so the Ace of Swords showing up as a significant outside influence makes sense. He’s really only interested in things, people and situations that bring new things for him to think about.

      • Oh dear. Then I was really barking up the wrong tree with this guy. Thanks for your insight! I didn’t see any of this at all. I thought the cards indicated that he was confused and was taking time to figure out what he wanted to do. But that when he decided, he would take action, in whatever direction.

        Random Note: He has Moon, Venus and Mars in Virgo. He acts super passive about a lot of things so I never really saw him as a ‘my way of the highway’ type. I have Sun and Venus in Virgo and Mercury in Libra, so there’s probably some strong conjunctions going on there and may be why I was so stuck on him. :(

  16. Hello! This is a brief question on interpreting online readings and their phrases. Could you please answer a brief and pressing question so pressing it is driving me nuts! When an online reading says “How he feels about you” and “How he thinks about you”…WTH does this actually mean?? I’ve heard it in two ways I am so confused. Does it mean how he is feeling/thinking as the card is his feelings/thoughts are the card projected on you or is it the card that he is feeling/thinking of you??? I hope that isn’t too confusing like I am confused! I so appreciate if you could clear up this for me as I can’t get an answer online for months now. Ugh. Please and thank you!
    Blesses!! :)

    • A card in a position about what he thinks about you represents his thoughts about you – how he sees you through his mind’s eye. How he feels about you is sometimes different, especially if is very mercurial (ruled by his mind). ‘How he feels about you’ represents what is in his heart for you. At least, that is how those two positions are used in this spread. I can’t really comment on other spreads you find online.

  17. 1- Page of Wands
    2- Ace of Cups
    3- The Lovers
    4- 3 of Wands
    5- The Fool
    6- Queen of Wands
    With my limited understanding of Tarot
    Fiery/passionate. Short lived perhaps.
    I have no idea what the Queen of Wands in the last position would suggest?
    Nor of The Lovers in the third.
    Any insights would he helpful.

  18. Great spread. My read

    1. 7 of Swords
    2. Empress
    3. 2 of Cups
    4. Lovers
    5. 6 of Swords
    6. Hanged man

    For clarity sake, the individual and I are currently not in touch but other indicators are showing that’s about to change so I did this reading to find out where his head was/is. When I read this, I read in terms of what he told me/what he was really thinking, and then all the rest of the cards present tense.

    No issues with understanding the 1st card -he was hiding a lot from me and couldn’t make up his mind. I’m not clear if the 2nd position card is what he’s thinking he needs (someone to take care of him) or how he thinks of me (he has referred to me as his queen in the past and the empress is the queen of all the tarot queens). 3rd card is consistent I continually get 2 of cups for how he feels about me (or 6 of cups) – no mystery there except why if he’s so besotted he’s so reticent to commit.

    I always struggle with the Lovers and this time is no exception. It could mean he’s make a choice or it could mean he’s playing the field and having a grand time.

    6 of swords in outside influences position – hmmm, that maybe he’ll have to move? or is that he left me (I left him as he couldn’t make up his freaking mind on what we were) for something better?

    I read Hanged Man in the final position as transformation, rather than indecision, especially given the 6 of Swords prior but I am interested in your thoughts.

    Ann

    • 7 of Swords with The Lovers is someone who is playing the field. The Hanged Man could mean a new perspective. It also means sacrifice. Hopefully, you putting your foot down and not accepting his non-committal stance will lead to him seeing the light. I’d stay away until he does though. The 7 of Swords is just… ugh…

  19. Thank you! Yes, he was very much ugh and it cost him….me. Well, he either will or he won’t change, the choice is his. Sometimes love means letting go. :) Thanks for your insight. Any feedback on 6 of swords as outside influences?

  20. Hi I did this reading and got
    1: 2 of wands
    2:queen of pentacles
    3: king of swords
    4 6 of pentacles
    5:2 of swords
    6: 2 of wands

    ???????

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